Well . . . I don't have warts now but I kinda wish I did. Instead of having an actual wart I've got a new kind of wart, all of you moms out there know what I'm talking about.
I'm now an official worrywart and it's terrible.
Did you know that a worrywart is an actual word with a definition? It is, according to Merriam-Webster the definition of a worrywart is : a person who is inclined to worry unduly.
The "What-Ifs" in life are going to turn me prematurely grey that's for sure!
I've always struggled with being a worrywart which makes my new level of worrisome a bit of a problem. The ultimate source of my worry problem:
That pretty pretty princess that is eyeballing me right there. She is my new number one source of worry.
To be honest, other than my husbands terrible driving skills, I'm not sure what I used to worry about before her?
My biggest struggle is that if I believe in God, I shouldn't worry since He will take care of me and my family and all of those things that I worry about, right? Why can't I let myself let go of the worry and just let God carry that load for me then? This is a question I fear I will ask myself forever, because my worry for baby Leah and any future babies I may have will never ever go away.
The worry de Leah began the day I found out I was pregnant in fact. Will I be like so many other women out there and have a miscarriage? Will the baby have a heartbeat? Will the baby have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Am I eating the right foods? Am I gaining too much weight? Will my labor and delivery be okay? The questions are endless. So of course, when I found out Leah had pooped meconium inside me and had the cord around her neck as I was trying to push her out, my worry exceeded the worry-o-meter! Of course, she came out perfect and wonderful, why oh why did I worry so much? I surly won't do that with my next pregnancy (insert sarcastic giggle here).
Now that Leah is here I get to worry about her in real life flesh, oh joy! First it was, is she eating enough? Is she sleeping enough? Is her poop the right color? Are those noises normal? Why are her eyes gooey? What's that bump? Surely I must go out and buy the 806 page What To Expect, The First Year book right? I mean, if the book says its normal then it must be normal . . . at least I'm going to believe that so it makes me feel better. Of course I HAVE to go buy the baby monitor that can alert me if she stops breathing in the middle of the night! Although, if I have that monitor and she sleeps for more than 3 hours then why am I still going in to check on her? Hmmm . . .
The real source of this blog is the fact that my poor baby girl has to go get her shots tomorrow and surprise surprise . . . I'm worried. I mean, why do they have to inject my little 8 week old baby with 8 different shots through needles and orally? Is that really necessary? I know that shots are a huge source of controversy with moms so I'm not going to get into it but I'm just going to say that it worries me. I hope she doesn't cry for too long, I hope she doesn't run a fever for too long and I hope that her sleeping patterns don't go so awry that it worries me even more. I hope, I hope, I hope . . . I worry, I worry, I worry.
Ugh, I feel so bad for my mom to have a 28 year old and 32 year old. That means that she's been worrying for at least the last 32 years of her life! What a nightmare!
Well . . . it's time for our bedtime routine . . . bath, lotion, swaddle, eat, burp and sleep . . . with a whole bunch of worry intertwined in it all.
Look at this face, you would worry too:
(We were watching The Price is Right, she loves that show apparently)
(I think she probably just pooped all over the place here)
( I love how her lips get all squished when she sleeps on her belly)
(She just loves tutu's, thanks Auntie Wolff)
Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving of what takes up most of my day . . . worry, worry and worry with a bit of worry in between.
Enjoy the end of your week blog world!
XOXO Jen XOXO
From experience (and I have a LOT of worry experience) Leah will be FINE tomorrow. You will be a wreck, but she will be fine and afterwards, like everything else, you'll think, 'hey that wasn't so bad.'
ReplyDeleteI've always been a worry wart. Like to the millionth degree. I worry about everything and everyone. I have spent nearly my entire life worrying about things I cannot control, but motherhood has taken the cake. It is my primary source of continual worry and concern. I can totally feel your pain.
I wish I had the antidote, but I don't.
But I can heartily agree that Slurpees cure everything.
:)
Worry comes with the job and it NEVER stops.
ReplyDeleteO,we of little faith.
Thanks Alison. I'm sure Leah will be fine too, but I'll have to worry about it all the way until it actually happens cause thats just what I do! I know that you are a worrywart also so I'm going to go ahead and blame you for giving me the worry gene just because you are older than me :) Usually I blame grandma or my mom for everything but I'll let you take credit for this one :)
ReplyDeleteSlurpees are absolutely the cure to all things terrible, I must go get one today! :)
Tee Tee, I wish I was not of little faith . . . I can't help it though . . .
I recommend you take someone with you tomorrow to the appointment. Often times they need someone to hold the babies arms down and the legs and when they asked me I said "no way" and made my husband do it. I was at my babies face the whole time whispering sweet nothings but she still screamed. It will most likely happen and it will kill you but she'll be fine afterwards and you'll feel happy knowing it's over and done with. You're being a good Mommy.
ReplyDeleteShots are controversial. Personally, my daughter has gotten all of them but they were spread out. The only difference is that you have to make more trips to the Doctors office if you go that way.
Try to bring a toy or something that might distract her attention during the shots.
Good luck!
In my limited research (polling my friends), I have found that we all struggle with trusting God in some way. For me, it is very easy for me to trust God with my (His) children. However, I struggle with the idea of Heaven. It's just hard for me to comprehend "falling asleep" and ending up there. I don't think our relationship with God would be quite as intense if we didn't struggle with something.
ReplyDeleteAndrea Ramos